ALL ALONE
by KatKraze
Summary: stan starts being made fun of, stan feels alone when kyle turns his back on him, a story about how important friendship is.
1. Chapter 1

_**ALL ALONE**_

_**Chapter 1 this is my second story! YAY please enjoy, i typed this all in two days so please if you don't like, don't put any bad reviews**_

_**I'm not going to lie, my friends, and I always got along ok, well except for Cartman, but who cares about that fat tub of lard. It's just that now they have all started making fun of me, I mean everyone, even Kyle has even stopped talking to me. **_

_**I don't know what to do, or what I even did wrong, well let's just hope tomorrow will be better.**_

_I walk into class the next day, Cartman already starts "hey faggot" I glance a dirty look at him "shove it fatass"_

"_You would want something shoved up my ass, wouldn't you fag" the whole class starts laughing._

_I lay my head down on my desk; I look at Kyle sitting beside me. His birthday party is this Saturday, I can't wait for it, maybe Kyle will start talking to me again there, I mean were still friends right?_

_When we get up to go to lunch I grab Kyle by his sleeve in the hall before he could get away. I say "hey Kyle long time no talk, so your still having your birthday party right?" he just looks at me then around and says "umm yeah, but Stan umm" I interrupt him _

"_I can't wait, it should be fun" Kyle looks around again "um yeah I guess I-I got to go" he says walking off in a hurry. Why is he running away from me?_

It's as if I am invisible,  
Someone is taking my heart and squeezing the warm life out,  
Enjoying my pain,  
My fear,  
My wonderment,  
My anxious curiosity.  
Nothing matters to them except that they have power,  
over everyone.  
Was it something I said?  
No, it couldn't be, I said nothing.  
Was it something I did?  
No, it couldn't be, for I did nothing.  
All they want is everyone to love them,  
everyone to hate you,  
everyone to believe them.  
But they lie.  
Everything that comes out of their mouth,  
is nothing,  
but lies.  
Lies to get ones hopes up,  
Lies to make other believe that this one is everything.  
And then,  
once you fall under the spell,  
fall hard,  
you're ignored.  
You're thrown away like a piece of garbage.  
Thrown away, so you're kept wondering what you've done.  
Don't fall under the spell of a liar;  
they'll see you as a freak,  
a nothing,  
an invisible.  
The people whom ignore,  
you know who you are.  
Be gone!

_Chapter 2_

_It's Saturday, and I'm getting ready for the party, when I finish, I head over to Kyle's house. Everyone look like they're having fun. Some people stare at me walking over to Kyle. _

_I tap him on the shoulder, and he turns around and I say "happy birthday Kyle" Kyle just stares at me, then says "umm Stan what are you doing here?"_

"_Well it's your birthday party Kyle so" he interrupts me this time "I didn't invite you Stan" now everyone was staring. "But I'm your best friend Kyle I" I stop talking because I knew what was coming next. _

"_**Were **__my best friend Stan, you __**were **__my best friend" I stare at him I could feel the tears coming to my eyes, and I say "oh o-ok I-I get it" Kyle looks at everyone "Stan y-your causing a scene, will you just please go home, please" _

"_Oh ok well I'll go now, here's your birthday card. I didn't know what to get you, so I got you a card with some money. I'll just let you get back to y-your party" I turn and walk off, hoping no one; especially Kyle saw or heard me cry._

For all the times,  
You weren't by my side,  
For all the times,  
You just watched me cry.

Everything you put me through,  
Hurts me so bad now,  
And the pain won't fade away,  
So now I have to live with it every day.

I can't believe you would do this,  
After you told me you loved me,  
And I thought it was true,  
But I guess you lied.

Now I'm here alone,  
Without you by my side,  
No one for me to talk to,  
About what I'm going through

_Chapter 3_

_I'm in my room with the light off, its pitch black in my room. I finally stopped crying, I'm curled up in my bed. There's a knock on my door, my mom opens it._

_She has a plate of food, with a glass of milk. "Stan honey you need to eat something" I don't answer her, She puts the food on the night stand by my bed. She sits on my bed, "I'm not hungry" _

"_Well if you get hungry your food is right here ok" she rubs my back a little, and then leaves the room. I'm so not ready for school tomorrow._

_The next day I take forever to get ready, when I get to school, I sit down I'm the first one in the room. Kyle walks in and takes a seat, he looks at me, but I try not to look back._

_He look around to see if anyone is watching "umm Stan I-I'm sorry about Saturday" I look up at him and he says "I just want to give this back to you" he hands me the money I put in his card._

_I say "why? Why do you not want to be my friend anymore, you can't just wake up one day and decide you don't want to anymore" he looks at me again and says "it's not that I don't want to anymore, it's just that umm everyone is umm"_

"_Is what?" I say, "well people have started thinking, that umm well that your um gay, and if I-I hang around you, they umm might think that I am gay to" I honestly want to cry right now "w-why do t-they think I'm g-gay?"_

"_I don't know Cartman probably said something, I'm sorry I just" "just stop ok" I say, I'm really pissed off now. Why is my life turning to shit?_

I'm hurt all the time.  
I don't want to cry for the way I feel inside.  
I just want someone to hold me...  
I'm alone in the dark, please try to find me.  
If no one cares, I don't see a point to go on.  
Anyone find me! Anyone care!  
I'm sorry; I just don't want to be alone anymore.  
I feel unheard and unseen. Depressed and weak.  
No one cares and yet I'm always the sorry one.  
Someone find me! I'm scared.  
Please hold me until it all ends.  
Just hold me that's all I want.  
I don't want to be alone in the dark.  
Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light.  
Just hold me as I start to cry.  
Just hold me so I won't be alone inside.  
Just hold me so I don't do something wrong.  
Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel the light...


	2. Chapter 2

_**ALL ALONE**_

_Chapter 4_

_I can't believe this is happening to me, I have no friends, and now some of the guys have actually started beating me up. Kyle hasn't said a word to me since Monday, I have no idea what I'm gonna do._

_It was time for recess, Cartman, and some of the other guys walk over to me "hey fag" Cartman says, I don't bother to look up from where I'm sitting he says "I __**said **__hey faggot" I still don't look up but I do say " I'm not in the mood fatass"_

"_What did you say but licker?"I repeat what I said Cartman get red with anger, and then Clyde and Craig grab my arms, and throw me to the ground. They all started kicking me, kicking my face, my chest, my legs, everything. _

_I look up to see Kyle by the playground looking at me, watching me get beat up, but not doing anything about it they finally leave me laying on the ground coughing my lungs out, Kyle is still looking at me when everyone goes inside. I try to say something, but my lungs hurt, my whole body is throbbing._

Why do you look down on me?  
Am I really that bad?  
I'm a nice guy if you would just bother to look me in the eye  
or are you afraid?  
Afraid that if you do that you'll see something human?  
Something that you may like?  
I hate you for what you've done  
I hate you for everything you've said I am  
then there are those who don't even know me  
I asked you once but you just stared at me like I was something else  
when I came up to you, you looked away it wasn't that obvious but our eyes never met  
now every time I pass a girl they look at me with disgust because of what you said  
then there is the bully who is fine with everyone else but me you insist to pick on me because I'm different because I'm me  
but not even you look me in the eye  
you punch me then look down on me in disgust

Chapter 5

_After a horrible day of school, I go straight to the bathroom, and lock it. I grab a rag and a razor blade, I pull my sleeve down, oh yeah that's another thing, I started cutting my wrist. _

_I head to my room beside going to school, and the bathroom, I don't leave my room. I also never turn my light on, or even the TV on anymore, I just sit in the dark_

_I don't think I'm turning Goth again or anything, but I am really depressed, I haven't eating anything since yesterday morning, and I'm also starting to get sick. I turn on my iPod, and turn it up all the way, trying to drown out the rest of the world._

_Even with my music, I hear a faint knock on my window; I looked out to see Kyle there. I open the window to let him in "what do you want" I say as him falls getting in._

"_I just wanted to, wow it's dark in here, I just wanted to talk to you" "why" I say. " I wanted to see how you were doing" I roll my eyes "oh you mean beside getting beat up, and my best friend, excuse me, my EX best friend doing nothing about it? Well then yes I'm just peachy._

_Kyle sighs and says "look Stan I'm sorry about everything, I really am, I still want to be your friend, but I can't be seen w-with you, so when the guys are around, I can't be around you" _

"_Oh thanks that makes me feel so much better, will you please just get out of my house" he looks at me with a shocked expression " B-But Stan I" " if you honestly think I'll be ok with being your friend only half the time, then your way more stupid than I thought, just get out" Kyle gives in and leaves. That night I cried myself to sleep._

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.  
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.  
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."  
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.  
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.  
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.  
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.  
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.  
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.

It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.  
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.  
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.  
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.  
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.  
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.  
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.  
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.  
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.  
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.  
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.  
And so I hurt alone

Chapter 6

I have decided on what to do, it's about 12:41 when I leave the house, I text Kyle telling him goodbye, it's about -5 degrees outside. I walk over to Starks pond, the water isn't frozen but it's still freezing.

I take my jacket and my shoes and socks off; before I jump in, I hear something in the distance, I jump in. it's so cold, but I stay in, I can feel my body numbing up, and my vision starting to blur.

I remember everything me and Kyle went through, the good and the bad, I remember what he told me one day in the 1st grade

He told me "Stan whatever happens, I will always stand by you, I won't let anyone hurt you ever, if anyone does I will kick there ass" but I guess things change, I guess people change.

I sank down to the bottom of the pond, I guess Kyle and I weren't meant to be friends, so I guess I'm not meant to be either.

If tonight I die,

Who will cry?

Strangers with their feigned interest,

While those I love have turned away.

And if my best isn't good enough,

What more can I give?

Go ahead-walk away.

Just leave me here alone.

And if tonight I die,

Who will cry?

All my strength is drained,

With nothing left to give.

Drowning in the depths of sorrow,

No tears left to cry.

A silent voice and distant eyes

that no one hears or sees.

And if tonight I die,

Who will cry?

Chapter 7

I wake up in my bed; I look next to me seeing Kyle sleeping beside me. Was it all a dream? I watch Kyle sleep. I remember now that Kyle spent the night last night, it was a dream.

I wake Kyle up; he looks at me and smiles "morning Stan sleep well?" "No" I say "I had a horrible dream last night" he sits up "About what?" I tell him everything "oh" he says.

I fiddle with my thumb "Kyle?" "Yeah?" he says. "If people started doing that, would you stop talking to me?"

Kyle looks at me and laughs a little, and then says "Stan whatever happens, I will always stand by you, I won't let anyone hurt you ever, if anyone does I will kick there ass"

I laugh with him, Kyle is the best friend I have ever had, and even if we have our ups and downs, he will always be right there beside me, that's what real friends do.

Having in a best friend in your life is always good.

They are there to support you & be there for you when you feel down.

They're supposed to be there no matter what choices or mistakes you choose or have done.

When you have a best friend you guys will tell and share secrets with each other that you guys wouldn't tell anyone else.

Sometimes in your life that best friend might backstab you, go behind your back, or try to make you jealous once a time in your life.

But you guys get over it less than 24 hours because when you are best friends you never forget about each other.

When that happens that best friend or yourself may not forgive yourself because you hurt your best friend.

Cause you guys have a special place in your heart for each particular person especially your best friend.

You guys will go through your ups & downs believe it or not over the most stupid things in the world.

Then the next minute or so you guys will burst out laughing.

You or your best friend will probably find another friend along the way.

But just remember you're more important to them than any other friend of theirs.

They or you might get mad but just remind them that their more special and that they shouldn't worry.

They will always love and cherish you no matter what just remember that.

This is why you should have a best friend in your life

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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